Soob

Tackling the meme that Shane's roped a few of us into. The Roolz:

1. Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share Christmas facts about yourself.
3. Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
4. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Welcome to the Christmas edition of "Getting to Know Your Friends."

1. Wrapping or gift bags?

Actually I prefer thinly sliced smoked turkey. Give a gift and feed a friend. That whole two birds and one stone thing.

2. Real or artificial tree?

Nothing says Christmas like a freshly hewn fire hydrant. They're a bitch to carry but that's what God invented younger brothers for.

3. When do you put up the tree?

Right in the same spot the hydrant came from. A bit of an ass covering technique and it's fun to see the confused city workers huddle around it and gibber amongst themselves.

4. When do you take the tree down?

City workers generally remove the tree right before the new hydrant comes in.

5. Do you like egg nog?

Only with a healthy splash of Bailey's in it.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?

That's a tie between a forty pound lump of granite that I named Felix and my first BB Gun.

7. Do you have a nativity scene?

No.

8. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?

There's no such thing as a bad gift. Unless of course it's a t-shirt that says "Somebody in (state name removed) loves me" and you happen to 14 years old.

9. Mail or email Christmas cards?

I used to collect baseball cards.

10. Favorite Christmas Movie?

Silent Night, Deadly Night... Relax, I'm kidding. A Christmas Story, of course.

11. When do you start shopping for Christmas?

Right about... Now.

12. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?

Whatever Ma's cooking and lots of it.

13. Clear lights or colored on the tree?

See #2.

14. Favorite Christmas song(s)?

I'm with Shane on this one, anything by Trans-Siberian Orchestra and absolutely nothing by the Chipmunks. The Chipmunks are to be reserved for the off chance that water-boarding fails to yield pertinent information from a terrorist.

15. Travel at Christmas or stay home?

I like to knock on a random door and when they answer barge in and shout, "Right, what's for dinner Ma?!" Actually I generally travel.

16. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?

Actually I hear Santa's finally upgraded to a 26' box truck after last years Reindeer Teamsters strike. Greedy bastards those reindeer.

17. Angel on the tree top or a star?

See #2

18. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning?

Christmas morning around one AM. Then I spend the next two hours hastily re-wrapping and telling the cats to "hold it down, you'll wake 'em up."

19. Most annoying thing about this time of year?

The fact that advertisements for it started back in July.

20. Do you decorate your tree in any specific theme or color?

See #2

21. What do you leave for Santa?

One of those big, toothy bear traps and a hack saw. As a younger, less sadistic lad I'd put out some cookies and milk.

22. Least favorite holiday song?

See # 14.

23. Favorite ornament?

I made a Rudolf head out of an old tablet armed chair when I was around 6 (I'm serious.) The pinnacle of my craftsmanship.

24. Family tradition?

Aside from our annual Anvil Tossing Contest (which nobodies yet won as none of us can actually lift the idiot thing) just getting together and being with kin, I suppose.

25. Ever been to Midnight Mass or late-night Christmas Eve services?

Nay.

My victims:

J. Kauffman

Purpleslog

Ymarsakar

Adrian

Phil

Peter

Steve