Soob

Politics, Foreign Policy, Current Events and Occasional Outbursts Lacking Couth

Saturday, January 19, 2008

I'm Rich!

Just got notification from the Nigerian, um, Senate House. Damn that bureaucratic bottle-necking for un-harmonizing my path to riches left behind by my Nigerian Benefactor.

OFFICE OF THE SENATE HOUSE
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
COMMITTEE ON FOREIGN PAYMENT
(RESOLUTIONPANEL ON CONTRACT PAYMENT)
IKOYI-LAGOS NIGERIA
E-mail: senatehouseng@live.com
FILE CODE #: ATM/LAG/NG
ATTN: BENEFICIARY,
IMMEDIATE RELEASE OF YOUR INHERITANCE FUND VIA ATM SWIFT CARD.
In close consultation with the World Bank, IMF and the European Union (EU), this is to notify you of your enlistment as a beneficiary of a recent Debt Management and Settlement Forum organized on the status of global arrangement to have your beneficiary fund settled once and for all...

Not to worry, my new found riches won't have me forgetting any of you wee folk who haven't the privilege of both an unknown Nigerian heritage and it's subsequent windfall of riches.

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to send these fellows some cash so that I can get my inheritance...




5 comments:

Peter said...

Isn't it great how these helpful officials in the Senate House make it so easy for you to claim your money. I can see you right about now trading in your old Mazda (?) for a hot new sports car.

subadei said...

I might even splurge and get two new sports cars! Maybe I'll crate the old Maz up and have it shipped to Zimbabwe's Senate House as a thank you gift.

Ortho said...

No wonder so many African countries are poor. They're giving away their money to Americans.

The Whited Sepulchre said...

We once had a Customer Service rep who got incredibly irate with me because I wouldn't do price quotes on a load of "free samples" going to Nigeria.
I printed about 3 pounds of Web Postings that warned of sending anything to that particular 1)address, 2)street, 3)city, and/or 4)nation.
She still didn't understand. This could lead to her biggest sale ever ! ! Why was I being such an a-hole???
Once certain people imagine having the money that con artists use as bait, all logic and skepticism go out the window.

subadei said...

Ortho, brilliant! I'll pass this on to Ban Ki-moon, posthaste! :)

WS, it's amazing how thin the line that often separates the grifter from the victim is, isn't it?