Soob

Politics, Foreign Policy, Current Events and Occasional Outbursts Lacking Couth

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Killer Badgers and Squirrel Spooks!

Basra is apparently under siege not only by jihadists but also giant killer badgers. I'll let some eye-witnesses detail the scourge:

"It is the size of a dog but his head is like a monkey. It runs so quickly"

"I saw it three days ago at night attacking animals. It even ate a cow. It tore the cow up piece by piece. I tried to shoot it with my gun but it ran away into the orchards. I missed it,"


Rumor has it British soldiers are responsible for the man-eaters which, naturally, has been denied by the British army Major David Gell:

"We have not released giant badgers in Basra, and nor have we been collecting eggs and releasing serpents into the Shatt al-Arab river."


Right. And I suppose the US isn't using squirrels to spy on Iran too, eh, Major?

"According to IRNA, the official Islamic Republic news agency, the national Police chief has implicitly verified the news about the confiscation of a number of squirrels, equipped with eavesdropping devices, on the Iranian borders. He has declined to give any more details, but, reportedly, when asked about the confiscation of 14 spy squirrels, he stated, “I have heard about it, but I do not have precise information”. IRNA adds, “These squirrels were equipped by foreign intelligence services, but were captured two weeks ago by the Police”."

6 comments:

Adrian said...

When the email showed up in my inbox with the title referring to Squirrel Spooks, I thought you were referencing RJ Hillhouse's " Secret Squirrels."

Steve said...

It's probably the middle eastern variant of the giant amphibious rabbit that attacked Jimmy Cater in the seventies.

subadei said...

adrian,

Her WaPo article on the CIA outsourcing intelligence was intriguing.

steve,
That's even more funny than GW's killer pretzel attack. I've never before heard of a "swamp rabbit."

Steve said...

You've never heard of the Rabbit attack? I just posted about it here
http://www.moodyloner.net/2007/07/jimmy-carter-killer-rabbit-story.html

Ymarsakar said...

That's even more funny than GW's killer pretzel attack. I've never before heard of a "swamp rabbit."

There's a picture around if you can't find it.

Anonymous said...

this is sick.